Our Guarantee!

We Guarantee NOTHING 100%! If our product doesn't exceed what you would expect from NOTHING, we will give you a full refund of your purchase price. For your refund, please send a self-addressed stamped envelope with, proof of purchase, cash reciept (original no copy), a ten-thousand word description of the disappointment printed on a 3x5 blue lined white 100lb stock index card, your phone number, social security number, work address, race, eye color, hair color, sexual preference, weight, shoe size,proof of insurance, your favorite tv show, two copies of your drivers license in color, original certified birth certificate, political affiliation, body fat composition, date of birth, name and address of closest living relative, and blood type to: I have the unmitigated gall to say I expected more from NOTHING.